First of all, let us remember that we should not use the terms grandfather or grandmother to refer to older people , since we cannot generalize and assign a social role to a person who we do not know if they identify with it. To learn more about the use of language, you can review our blog “Building from language” .
What is sexuality?
To talk about sexuality, we must not only consider biological aspects, but, as indicated by the World Health Organization (WHO), psychological, social, cultural, historical, religious, and other factors interact. That is why it is important to expand the concept by investigating, considering, and addressing its different expressions that go beyond the reproductive approach.
Sexuality is not standardized, it is not the same for everyone, but rather, according to the course of each life story, in a personal way, we build an identity, attitudes and behaviors towards it and with it its various forms of expression such as caresses, kisses, flirting, fantasies, desire for company and more. Therefore, under these ideas we will try to understand that sexual manifestations and interests depend on each person, and should not be limited by age, nor should they grant restrictions or negative concepts, but rather accept the individual experience according to the changes and circumstances we live .
Old age is socially loaded with myths and prejudices , understanding that when you reach a certain number of years you must automatically assume a role that is imposed with mostly negative characteristics, loaded with cultural stereotypes without checking their veracity. And of course, one of them is precisely sexuality in older people . Now, we cannot deny that aging involves various physiological changes, such as changes in body shape, hormonal and sexual response decline, among others. And as a result of this, a big question arises: Are these changes synonymous with older people not having a sexual life? Of course NOT, it is wrong to deny sexuality in old age, since if we remember the definition initially given, it manifests itself throughout life until death, where adaptation strategies are developed or perfected that allow us to continue living sexuality in a personal way, adjusting these strategies to individual desires and needs, overcoming social impositions.
Did you know that in the Fifth National Survey on Quality of Life in Old Age (2019) , 60% of older people who participated stated that sexual life was an important aspect for them? In addition, 55% of people who live with a partner claim to have an active sexual life, which makes it clear that sexual interest continues and that therefore older people continue to be sexually active. Therefore, it is essential to ask the following question: Is sexuality considered a relevant factor when talking about well-being and quality of life?
Myths and prejudices
As a society, we have been creating and perpetuating various myths and prejudices towards sexuality in old age, associating it with incapacity and its complete cessation, as well as negative judgments for those who wish to express it, considering it as an immoral and incorrect action, generating this topic as taboo or simply a lack of interest in investigating and knowing it. Here we identify again how ageism acts, limiting, regulating and excluding older people from the right to fully live their sexuality. So we must ask ourselves, am I willing to live my sexuality in old age as others impose on me?
Some of the myths or prejudices that are commonly known, both from society and from older people themselves, are:
At an older age, one no longer enjoys sexuality
Older people are not sexually capable
Over the years, sexual frequency decreases
Sexuality is not for old people
It's no longer the age to have a partner
Sexuality is intended to procreate, which is why it no longer makes sense in old age.
The old body is ugly, it is no longer attractive
Masturbation is a young people thing
Sexual diversity does not exist in old age
Have you ever said or heard any of these phrases? It is very likely that you have, and unfortunately there are many more. But to clear up certain doubts, it is necessary to clarify the falsity of those beliefs. Sexual activity, its capacity and interest do not depend on age , but on the emotional and physical state of health of the person, as well as on their experience, relationship with themselves, with others and how the concept of sexuality is redefined according to the forms of adaptation that will be necessary to understand the changes that occur.
Desire and pleasure continue, they do not end, but the person will be the one who gives greater or lesser importance to certain forms of manifestation that he or she considers significant.
The body, physical appearance and aesthetics clearly have an influence, and we see that historically a concept of beauty has been built associated with youth, along with other characteristics, such as vitality, energy, productivity philippines mobile number and more. In this way, the idea that the old body is not attractive or desired has been perpetuated, promoting daily hiding and concealing the body, wrinkles and gray hair, which impacts the desire and interest to express oneself sexually or talk about the subject for fear of being criticized or ridiculed.
Education and learning
Finally, to introduce another underlying theme, it is important to highlight how the sexuality of older people is being addressed in the many environments in which they participate. The “For the Greater Good” project focuses on supporting Long-Stay Establishments for Older Adults, so it is necessary to state that decisions are probably often made for people, with the aim of protecting them, since residents are often perceived to be in a situation of constant risk and vulnerability.
Some examples could be: prohibiting dating, separating a married couple into different rooms, implementing an open-door policy, the team or professionals not generating confidence to talk about the subject, infantilizing kisses, caresses or other measures. These attitudes or reactions clearly restrict the right and autonomy of the person to be able to express themselves sexually, based on this social imaginary that we talked about earlier. Therefore, it would be good to start questioning whether we are creating environments that guarantee the safety, privacy, intimacy and consent of the elderly person.
It is therefore our responsibility to acquire the necessary knowledge to understand and address the issue appropriately, to know the barriers, to act at all times as an enabling environment for participation and not to restrict sexual expression activities, as long as there is consent and this does not violate the rights of another.